My 34th Birthday Project

Three weeks ago, I turned 34. I have now officially entered my mid-thirties and I have to say, I kind of feel “old”! For me, birthdays tend to stimulate self-reflection about the years gone by and the years ahead. I tuned into the niggling internal monologue that there are certain elements of my life I thought I’d have more figured out by this point. Interestingly, I realized that the things that kept coming up seemed to have a theme. They all revolved around how I want to look and feel.  I realized that most of these elements are areas I’ve never truly devoted much focused energy towards. I like cute clothes and fun shoes, but my practical side often keeps me from buying the things I admire; I have never really learned much about make-up, accessorizing, playing with my hair, or taking care of my skin. And as I’ve gotten older and further away from organized sports, exercising and staying healthy has gotten much, much harder - which, sadly, shows around my hips and waist line. I’ve become less comfortable in my own skin and it’s time to change that.

Leading up to my birthday I had been reading a book for my book club titled “My Year with Eleanor” by Noelle Hancock. To give you a quick summary, the author encountered a famous quote by Eleanor Roosevelt - “Do one thing every day that scares you”. So she decided that since she had been recently laid off and was in a definite state of transition, now was the perfect time to confront her fears and the things in her life that had been holding her back. So she decided to live the quote and do one thing every day that scared her for one entire year. She called this her “Year of Fear” project and started it on the day of her 30^th birthday.

I was inspired by the concept of Noelle’s project, and, as my birthday was just around the corner, I was motivated to create my own. It seemed the perfect way to focus my energy towards the achievement of my series of goals. I am calling it my “Look Good, Feel Good” project and am dedicating my 35^th year to some good old-fashioned self-love.

To clarify what this really meant for me, I broke it into the two logical parts –1) looking good, and 2) feeling good, and came up with the elements I wanted to include for each component. Here is how my definitions turned out:

Look Good:

·     I want to have a wardrobe that I love and clothes that make me feel good.

o  I need to get rid of the stuff that doesn’t fit, doesn’t look good, or that I’ve owned since high school. I may need to spend money on some new clothes, or to hire a stylist to help me go through my closet, put outfits together, accessorize, and figure out what to buy.

o  I want to learn about fashion/style; what types of clothes look the best on my body and what my personal style looks like.

·     I want new make-up and the skills to know how to use it.

o  I’ve never been much of a make-up girl, but I usually like the way I look when I have it on to go out. The make-up I currently own and wear is the stuff I bought for my wedding (almost 4 years ago!). I’ve seen articles about how long you should keep make-up and I’m pretty sure everything I have needs to go.

·     I want to look good in a swimsuit!

o   Part of this for me means finally losing some weight and building some muscle. I’m overweight and I don’t feel good about it. I know it’s not about a number and I’ve never really cared about that. But I want to feel strong, and healthy, and sexy, and realistically that involves shedding a few pounds.

·     Head to Toe

o  I think it might finally be time to start coloring my hair. There is a lot of  grey up there and even thought the practical side of me can’t always rationalize the expense, I am too young to accept grey!

o  I want to do a better job of keeping my toenails painted. This one might sound silly, but I often feel like my feet look pretty with painted nails. I’ll do it myself and save the cost, but there is really no excuse – even in the winter!

Feel Good:

·     Most importantly, I want to feel good in my own skin

o  This means being comfortable in my own body and feeling strong, sexy, in-shape, and healthy.

o  So I need to get regular exercise, eat well, and take care of myself.

·     Self-Confidence and self-esteem reboot

o  I have found myself less confident over the past few years. I question my skills and abilities, worry about what others think and how they perceive me. Frankly, this sucks! I’m ready to spend some time figuring out why and finding ways to get back to the strong, self-assured women I think I used to be.

·     Challenge myself and address fears

o  Just as Noelle did in the book, I want to challenge myself and some of my fears by pushing myself out of my comfort zone through different activities. Hopefully this will help me feel more empowered, strong, and confident.

·     Do things that make me feel happy, successful, and courageous

o  (Before I became a mom) I used to have hobbies and do more things that were fun where I learned new skills and met new people. I want to make more of an effort to do those things again.

So this is my project for the year. It’s time to carve out a little time to focus on myself and become the 34-year-old I always thought I would be.  You may think this sounds silly, self-indulgent, or trivial, but I see it as simply wanting more for myself. Every day I help others live their best lives, and I am continually working on that for myself as well.

I will keep you posted as the year progresses.  If you have any brilliant suggestions, helpful comments, or kind affirmations, please feel free to send them my way!